Wrote this last fall – it’s a little raw, but I’ll share as is:
I will wear my casual like an armour
I refuse to be a casualty of you knowing me
I will cut my feelings under skin
You will never see me bleed
And if I cry – IF that is –
I’ll lie. To you. To me.
I will keep you free of any
burden to comfort me
You will never know my fears
(And in turn my passions probably)
I deny that I’m afraid
There is no secret to this shield
No pin to this grenade – it’s done.
Blunt. Mute. Numb.
I will protect you From causing me
Disappointment
Hope
Restlessness
Pain
Leaving
From needing
to protect me.
Don’t.
No worries.
I don’t need it.
I can’t
Fall.
This is me
At my best